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The other Rebecca

·1458 words·7 mins

It’s been a week since we lost our dear colleague and friend Rebecca Munson. On Monday, I walked into Firestone Library and thought, she’ll never walk through these doors again. I walked into the CDH space and saw her office, full of papers, decorations, detritus from before the pandemic, but empty now forever of her. On Wednesday, the Slack member changes page reported that her account had been detected as inactive. There were moments this week when it felt like she was away for another round of intense cancer treatment and would be back soon. It’s starting to sink in that she’s really gone. But we’re going to keep remembering her and telling stories about her. Here are some of my reflections on working and sharing a name with Rebecca.

In large group meetings, Rebecca would often introduce herself as “the other Rebecca” — as if I were at CDH before her (false), or were somehow more important (emphatically not true). Sometimes she would even do this when she introduced herself before me, saying she was the “other” Rebecca and noting that there were two of us. I don’t know how much other people noticed this, but I noticed it every time. I can’t remember if I ever introduced myself as “the other Rebecca.” I hope I did.

If you have a common enough name, like Rebecca and I, you’ll inevitably experience sharing that name within some community or group. In my freshman year of college, there were five Rebeccas just on my dorm floor, with a variety of spellings and nicknames.

I never minded sharing a name with Rebecca Munson. We occasionally got emails meant for each other; when she got emails intended for me, she was always happy to forward it and would often comment that it sounded interesting anyway. Recently, when someone thought I had gotten a promotion, I was delighted to inform him that it was the other Rebecca, because I was so pleased that she’d finally gotten the promotion that she so richly deserved (delayed due to covid and cancer, not to our amazing CDH leadership, who are fierce champions for all of us). On very rare occasions, we even mixed ourselves up. A few months ago Rebecca put my initials down for something, and while I wasn’t certain I was the best person to do it, I was ready to go along with it if she thought I should. But when I commented, I discovered she’d meant to put her own initials!

When we got to work together on projects, it was like a force multiplier. Occasionally we would joke about “the Rebeccas” or R-squared accomplishing some feat. We worked together in various roles on The Winthrop Family on the Page, bitKlavier, Derrida’s Margins, Princeton Prosody Archive, Shakespeare and Company Project, and the CDH website. We delivered the Shakespeare and Company Project 1.0 release on time in May of 2020 with the features agreed on in January 2020, in spite of a pandemic and shift to remote work — a major feat of successful project management. Technically Rebecca wasn’t the project manager for many of those projects, since we have graduate students take on that role — and we struggled a bit with what to call Rebecca’s role. She was the meta-project manager, training and mentoring the students and helping them manage; she was the project coordinator, keeping an eye on the schedule and all the moving parts across projects and other work.

I learned recently that some founders of Agile software development wanted to get rid of project managers (PMs); I’m not completely surprised, but to be honest, it’s a shame. Working with an embedded PM who understands and cares about the work and, more importantly, the people is a tremendous experience. Rebecca and I were the ones who took the time and made the effort to publish our project charters after the interest expressed at ACH2019. I wrote the blog post that announced the publication, in part because Rebecca was too busy writing the actual content to go with the charters. So, while I was gratified to see the post get attention, I was a little annoyed that it was my post instead of her (our) work that seemed to be getting the most traction. (This is one of the reasons I asked Nick Budak to write about our most recent charter and revisions to our approach.)

As Rebecca’s work at CDH grew and shifted into education and outreach, she got to work more with the graduate students she was so passionate about mentoring and supporting; and I had to do without her direct support and guidance on our software development projects. I still leaned a bit on her amazing skills for organization, seeing the big picture, and realistically estimating work — but now limited to quarterly consultations, where she taught me more, again, how to take on that planning work myself. Once you get to work closely with an amazing project manager and generous collaborator like Rebecca, it’s hard to do without.

It is a privilege to have my name across from Rebecca’s on the inaugural issue of Startwords. At some point when we were nearing publication, we discovered that both of us had been feeling bad about our pieces in comparison to the other’s. I felt bad because “Data Beyond Vision” is such an enormous, complicated, big baggy monster of a piece (dataviz, embedded 3d models, zoomable images, custom styles, choose-your-own reading order). She felt bad because her essay was so (comparatively) short, and she had no visuals or charts. Grant Wythoff reassured both of us, and said that he loved that the two pieces were so different: they complemented each other, and showed the range of what contributions to Startwords could be. I’m so sorry now that her essay is relevant again in this way; and I recognize now, she must have known that it would be at some point. If you haven’t read it yet, I encourage you to take the time. If you’ve already read it, maybe read it again; or take a look at her other public writing about her experience with cancer. It’s a way to spend a little more time with her, listen to her voice, and learn from her.

As Meredith Martin commented recently, all of our work at CDH will have to shift as we learn to be a place that doesn’t have Rebecca. Understand this: Rebecca was contributing throughout her cancer, with all its setbacks, difficulties, and complications. There were times when she went on medical leave for a particular phase of treatment, but then she would come back because she loved her work and wanted something to involve herself in. We got used to a rhythm of work where Rebecca was out on Thursdays to get chemo, but she’d still occasionally be on Slack or reading documents from the hospital while she waited. We relied on her; we forgot, sometimes — because, in some way she needed to, wanted us to — how deadly ill she was, how hard she was fighting all the time.

I’ve been reading a lot of the tributes and stories about Rebecca on Twitter, and have seen others from Facebook and emails that Meredith and other CDH staff have been collecting in a Google Document (please keep sharing your stories and remembering her — the tweets about Rebecca have trailed off, but our grief has not). It’s been good, and it’s been hard. She was extraordinary, and it is a terrible loss. Everything people have been saying is true about her wit, her brilliance, her bravery. Most of the grief seems genuine, but there are occasional posts that feel performative — it is social media after all; but there are cultures that hire mourners to help grieve, so maybe this isn’t that different. In Lament for a Son, Nicholas Wolterstoff looks at the research notes and outline for his son’s unfinished thesis and asks how much it matters, whether his work would have been such an addition, or if “his death is to be more lamented than another.” Reading social media, I’ve been feeling a bit of that too. Rebecca was human, with her weaknesses, failings, and foibles, just like the rest of us. But she touched a lot of people and had an enormous influence in multiple spheres, with her scholarship (Digital Humanities work as well as Shakespearean), her mentoring, her honesty about her experience with cancer, her love of TV shows and fandom. Because of her presence and her influence, perhaps the circles and ripples of grief are wider than for some. But that’s not why we grieve; we grieve because she’s our friend, and we love her, and she’s gone.

Author
Rebecca Sutton Koeser
humanities research software engineer, thinker, writer
mentions: 117 likes 18 replies 19 reposts
liked by Dr. Jessica Otis, Kate Carpenter, Dr Mia Ridge, Trisha Tschopp, Dr. Matt Lincoln, Jason Heppler 🚲, Andrew Janco, Nora Benedict, 🌙✨, Kevin McElwee, Bez: Writer, Game Dev, Reviewer. Looking for work., David McClure, Jennifer Serventi, Jim Casey, Grant Wythoff, Anastasia Salter, The Center for Digital Humanities at Princeton, Tim Thompson, monica's away message, Sarah Werner, Dr. Lindsey D Snyder, Emily Rendek, Louise Geddes, Dr. Elizabeth E. Tavares, John Harney 羅翔, Elizabeth R Roke, Kathryn Vomero Santos, Lauren Eriks Cline, Lisa Chinn, Ph.D., Elizabeth Grumbach, Elle Thompson, Stephanie Luescher, Dr. Jess Hamlet (she/her), Amanda French, Laure Thompson, Noam, Jajwalya Karajgikar, Lori Emerson, Mary Naydan, Melanie Walsh, Emma M. Sarconi, Kim Coles, Erin Sullivan, Dr. Dyani J Taff, PhD, Scott B. Weingart 🤹, heather froehlich, Demetra McBrayer, Olya Nicolaeva, Eric Hoyt, Simon Evnine, Dr. Molly Martin, Dr. Aley O'Mara (they/them), Madame Defarge, jennnnnnnnn, Critical Race Bandit, Natalia Ermolaev, Quinn Dombrowski, Élika Ortega, Dr Becky S Friedman, Ramona, J. Clements, Dr Meghan Ferriter, José Ramón Díaz Fernández, Cristina León Alfar 😷📚🎭 👠🐈#BLM, Dr. Amanda Wyatt Visconti, Sir Epicure Mammon, Martine van Elk, Dr. B. K. Adams, Dr. Laura Estill, unibcarlson, Matt Gold, Emily Esten, benjamin aldes wurgaft, Dr. Diana Henderson, Valerie Clayman Pye, Meghan Testerman 🎀, WhoWillBelieveMyVerse?, Gissoo Doroudian, Amy Papaelias, Caridad Svich, Madeleine B, MFA #BLM #StopAsianHate, Hoyeol Kim, kavita kulkarni, Dr. Erin A. McCarthy, P. Gabrielle Foreman, nirak, Christina Wilson, Lauren Klein, Dr. Amanda Madden, EM Women's Writing, José Eduardo González, Marina Rustow, Rhodri Lewis, Naomi Baker, Meredith Martin, michelle a. taylor, Maria Antoniak, Hugh Cayless, Elena Telles Ryan, Randa El Khatib, Princeton University Library, lucy js clarke, Kelly K Davis, Kelsey Utne, James M. Van Wyck, Griffin Jones, Anbara Salam, 🐉 Dr. Leah Haught 🐉, Glen Worthey, Roopika Risam, Shakespeare and Company Project, Dr. Jean Bauer, whitney trettien, Claude Willan, Zoe LeBlanc, Dr. Katya Ermolaeva, Margaret Doyle

Jim Casey : What a great tribute. Thanks for sharing. It's so hard to imagine going back into the CDH without "other Rebecca" in her office. We'll be thinking of you all as everyone goes back in.

the other rebecca : Thank you. It’s been hard being back there with so many reminders of her — I think that’s part of the reason it felt like she must be coming back soon. (I feel like I'm the “other” Rebecca now...)

Trisha Tschopp : I’m so sorry for your loss—she sounds like talented researcher and even better friend. As someone who is also experiencing cancer and academia simultaneously, i wish I could’ve known her.

🌙✨ : It's been a week since we lost @Shxperienced. It was a privilege to work with her and share a name. rlskoeser.github.io/2021/08/20/the…

Sarah Werner : It's been a week since we lost @Shxperienced. It was a privilege to work with her and share a name. rlskoeser.github.io/2021/08/20/the…

Anastasia Salter : It's been a week since we lost @Shxperienced. It was a privilege to work with her and share a name. rlskoeser.github.io/2021/08/20/the…

Jim Casey : It's been a week since we lost @Shxperienced. It was a privilege to work with her and share a name. rlskoeser.github.io/2021/08/20/the…

Dr. Matt Lincoln : It's been a week since we lost @Shxperienced. It was a privilege to work with her and share a name. rlskoeser.github.io/2021/08/20/the…

The Center for Digital Humanities at Princeton : It's been a week since we lost @Shxperienced. It was a privilege to work with her and share a name. rlskoeser.github.io/2021/08/20/the…

Tim Thompson : It's been a week since we lost @Shxperienced. It was a privilege to work with her and share a name. rlskoeser.github.io/2021/08/20/the…

Quinn Dombrowski : This morning I was exchanging messages with @Zoe_LeBlanc about a possible award to honor Rebecca, and I mentioned "be sure to invite Rebecca" and did a double-take. It was the first time I realized there were two of you. Thank you for sharing this. 💜

Kathryn Vomero Santos : This is a beautiful essay. Thank you for sharing it and for giving us insight into Rebecca's work at Princeton DH. I'm holding you all in my thoughts.

Nora Benedict : This is utterly beautiful, Rebecca, and I’m so grateful that you shared it 💕I can’t begin to imagine what the CDH feels like these days. Sending so many hugs and emojis your way 🙏🏻🧁🌮

Mary Naydan : What a beautiful essay. RM would have loved it. Going back to B level for the first time, I half expected to see her round the corner like I have so many times 💜 Sitting with you in that uncanny, empty feeling you describe so well. Sending you love.

the other rebecca : It’s strange isn’t it, how sometimes we don’t make connections like that when we only encounter people or names in such different contexts? Thank you for reading, and thanks to you & @Zoe_LeBlanc and all for the work on a possible award.

the other rebecca : Thank you, Nora. It’s been hard ... so many things still to face. I’m glad we've been able grieve together, and that you and @jimccasey1 were able to join us last week. I was reminded recently how unusual it is to have colleagues and a work family like @PrincetonDH

the other rebecca : Thank you. I’m not on FB but I did get to see a copy of your beautiful post remembering her. 💜

Nora Benedict : I can’t tell you how much it meant to be there last week. And the CDH is definitely unlike any other place @PrincetonDH 💜

Dr. Jess Hamlet (she/her) : It's been a week since we lost @Shxperienced. It was a privilege to work with her and share a name. rlskoeser.github.io/2021/08/20/the…

Nora Benedict : It's been a week since we lost @Shxperienced. It was a privilege to work with her and share a name. rlskoeser.github.io/2021/08/20/the…

Elizabeth Grumbach : It's been a week since we lost @Shxperienced. It was a privilege to work with her and share a name. rlskoeser.github.io/2021/08/20/the…

Elle Thompson : It's been a week since we lost @Shxperienced. It was a privilege to work with her and share a name. rlskoeser.github.io/2021/08/20/the…

Kathryn Vomero Santos : It's been a week since we lost @Shxperienced. It was a privilege to work with her and share a name. rlskoeser.github.io/2021/08/20/the…

John Harney 羅翔 : It's been a week since we lost @Shxperienced. It was a privilege to work with her and share a name. rlskoeser.github.io/2021/08/20/the…

Dr. B. K. Adams : It's been a week since we lost @Shxperienced. It was a privilege to work with her and share a name. rlskoeser.github.io/2021/08/20/the…

Matt Gold : Such a great post ❤️💜

Gissoo Doroudian : It's been a week since we lost @Shxperienced. It was a privilege to work with her and share a name. rlskoeser.github.io/2021/08/20/the…

Danielle Clarke 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇮🇪 : Thank you

P. Gabrielle Foreman : Sending condolences to your whole crew from ours at @CCP_org.

Lauren Klein : Sending love your way, Rebecca. What a beautiful tribute

Meredith Martin : It's been a week since we lost @Shxperienced. It was a privilege to work with her and share a name. rlskoeser.github.io/2021/08/20/the…

Kelsey Utne : It's been a week since we lost @Shxperienced. It was a privilege to work with her and share a name. rlskoeser.github.io/2021/08/20/the…

Glen Worthey : Thanks for your heartfelt and charming memoir, Rebecca, and for helping to keep the other other Rebecca's memory alive.

the other rebecca : “other other Rebecca”! 😂😢💜 Other is all a matter of perspective, isn’t it.

Dr. Jean Bauer : Beautiful tribute. RM would have loved it

Dr. Jean Bauer : It's been a week since we lost @Shxperienced. It was a privilege to work with her and share a name. rlskoeser.github.io/2021/08/20/the…

👑 Fiona ✨ : It's been a week since we lost @Shxperienced. It was a privilege to work with her and share a name. rlskoeser.github.io/2021/08/20/the…

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